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POSTED AT 12:05 PM

nebulous

i'm sick. again. i don't know what it is with my throat and how it seems to almost spontaneously and randomly decide when to get all inflammed/masakit/gah.

and my parents are away. stress. my lola keeps on asking me all these eh? questions that i should not be worrying about given i'm not married with kids, i had to sweep dog poo (of the really big dalmatian that has easily knocked me over before; the small one's boarding at the vet) because the helper is new** and scared of said dog, i had to do papers and fix things because if i don't no one will, and i feel alone.

kadiri. and needy na kung needy but i miss having someone check on me if they know i'm alone. 'yung mga tipong magtetext ng random shit to keep me company or something, or ask what's up. because that's usually my mother's job and she's not here.

kadiri. and needy na kung needy but i miss the time when we used to talk a lot. kahit na veiled attempts to connect over stupid and pointless acads-related texts. or how you'd send me 20+ quotes in one go and wait for me to comment on each one, or some of them at least. may iba din naman akong namimiss, i think, pero wala akong karapatan kasi wala naman (he's taken great pains to let me know that it's always been pathetically one-sided, that i'm delusional, and yuck would i please get over him) and he likes boys. assuming naman na meron tayo but whatever. at least you're supposed to like girls (sana lang 'di ba?). there's nothing stopping you from liking me other than me. and my lack of exercise. or cheekbones. whatever. maybe that's the reason why it still hurts.

groooooosss. ano ba. i am effectively talking to myself but still.

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ganda ng grey's. love it. umiyak na naman ako (batac-moment) pero ang intense talaga.

Feeling: sick, tired. and alone.