one last time before i go
POSTED AT 01:53 PM
regret.
regret happens when you've made a really bad decision.
it also happens when you've made the right choice, but somehow,
somewhere along the way, you find that everything's changed (or became
clearer) - and suddenly the choice that was once right is so terribly
out of place. and just wrong.
there are so many i wish-es and if
only's in regret. it's screwed up that regret shows you the many things
you could have had, things you just didn't have the foresight to see,
as well as the hurtful truth that there's no way of having them, not
now, not ever.
i wish i had chosen differently. there's only so
much complication anyone can take. choosing differently then would have
meant not whiling away so much time. it would have meant starting
earlier on something that was worth it. this is the point where i don't
care anymore who's right or wrong. i'm here now, even when i could have
been here before all the damage, and before i got to be this jaded.
that's what i regret.
and
that's why i'm doing this for the last time. it's gotten to a point
where i'm angry, so angry that i can no longer see the many things i
have, the many things i should be happy about. so i'll give myself this
night, one last time to count backwards. then i have to be somewhere
else altogther, because that's the only way i can look back at this and
not feel so stripped of the ability to hopeful.
phew.
Run by Snow Patrol/Leona Lewis
I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done
And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads
Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
